I had a powerful coaching session with a teenage boy recently.

He told me he’s been learning to believe that his positive and negative actions don’t equal his worth.

We’ve had many sessions and talked about this from different angles.

In the beginning he didn’t believe this. He actually believed the opposite – which is completely normal and typical.

Don’t you often try to do things to feel better about yourself?

Or, when you fail do you think you’re not good enough?

Or, think critically about yourself when others succeed?

As we talked about his math homework, he shared the new equation that was helping him find greater peace and happiness. He said it was helping him believe that his worth was given at birth and is constant.

My actions ≠ My worth

He told me about sharing this and other things he’s learned with his friends, helping them gain awareness and try thinking differently.⠀

I wish I understood this as a teen.

I’m grateful that mental health conversations are becoming normal around the dinner table, on the bus, between classes, in the locker room, and on the way to school and rehearsal.

When do you struggle to believe this equation is true?

Do you believe that your negative actions = your worth or loss of worth or that negative actions automatically create shame/guilt?

Do you believe that your positive actions = your worth or increase your worth?

Do you believe that your worth is constant?