Do you panic when your kids cry? Does it grate on your nerves?
Are you a teen who babysits? How do you handle it when the kids are crying?
My teen daughter has learned that it’s ok to be sad and applied that while babysitting.
When the mother left her 2 year old son, he was devastated and was crying
And he wouldn’t stop
My daughter tried distracting him with the toys
“Want to play with Moana?”
“Here’s the Genie!”
“And Mr. Incredible!”
But the tears wouldn’t stop
Suddenly she realized he just needed to be sad
And that was ok
“Do you just want to cry?”
“Do you want me to leave and let you cry?”
“Are you sad your mom left?”
He said yes
So she walked around the corner and waited
Calmly
She wasn’t stressed or worried or feeling like she had to make him stop crying or calm down.
She just followed her instinct that he was really sad and didn’t know her and wasn’t ready to calm down and wanted to be alone.
She came back when his tears settled but he started back up.
She went back around the corner for a little longer and when she came back this time he was ok and ready to talk. She empathized with his sadness, that he did miss his mom and acknowledging that his mom would come back.
She has learned that it’s ok to feel emotions and that we don’t have to fix them immediately. It’s not a problem. It’s just an emotion.
This allowed her to be calm and not panic. She wasn’t stressed trying everything to get him to calm down.
This isn’t always the answer, but she felt like it was the right thing this time and it worked great.
I remember when I used to babysit and would be so stressed trying to get the kids to stop crying. The crying would grate on me and I felt like I had to make them stop. As a young mom this was a challenge as well. It took time to learn what the crying meant and what to do.
With a baby, the crying is their only way to communicate and we can learn how to understand the cries. But, we can also learn that it is just a way for them to communicate and not a problem or a reason to panic.
There is great strength in being able to stay calm when your kid isn’t. How powerful for a teen to already be able to do this.
Are you ready to learn this skill? Let’s do it together!
I’m doing free sessions for missionaries and parents. Schedule a time for a FREE session. Have a quick question? Shoot me an email at info@jillfreestone.com. I’d love to hear from you.
