Dear mom who’s child or teen has left your faith or who is making choices that break your heart

or who just won’t behave

I see you and I honor you.

I see how your heart is broken and your knees are weary from prayer.

I’ve heard you say that you doubt you did a good enough job as a mother

And you wonder what you could have done differently.

Remember that even if you could possibly do everything perfectly (impossible), your child would especially need therapy as they tried to make sense of living with a perfect person.

They wouldn’t know how to struggle with faith, resolve conflict, process emotions or communicate when upset.

They would be stunned when they tried to work with or interact with real humans who weren’t perfect.

On Mother’s Day, it’s easy to feel guilt or shame especially if our kids aren’t where we want them to be.

I invite you to separate your worth and success as a Mother from your kids behavior and faith just like you work to separate your happiness on Mother’s Day from what anyone else does or says.

You can have a wonderful Mother’s Day even if no one does anything for you or they all behave horribly.

You don’t have control over what they think, say or do.

How do you know if you’re a good mother?

You choose to believe you are.

That’s all.

You don’t look at anything outside yourself that you can’t control.

You do what you believe in and you give yourself grace over and over each day when you don’t.

You start over each day and love yourself.

Your kids have their agency and their own journey to travel. Allow them that space and grace.

Choosing to love them no matter what will help them want to stay close to you no matter what they choose.

When you choose to believe you are a good mother, you will act much differently then when you believe you aren’t.

Give it a try.

I’d love to help you.