“Will you come to the grocery store with me?” my husband asked
A simple question and I had SO many thoughts!
Poor guy had no idea what he was getting into.
I didn’t even know there was so much inside.
Suddenly the dam broke and all my thoughts poured all over him. I was overwhelmed, feeling like a fraud, having stomach issues, indecision, nervous, worried, lots to do and things to decide, etc.
He took it well, like usual, calmly noting, “you’re having a lot of thoughts right now”
“If you come with me to the store you can tell me ALL of them,” he said with a big smile.
This sounded great, but I also had SO many thoughts about going to the store!
I told him I didn’t WANT to go the store because I felt guilty that he was doing it and not me. Plus I can’t go to the store if I don’t have a meal plan and I was feeling bad about not having a meal plan and not even wanting to make one . . and I never got ready for the day (it was 9pm) and had very greasy hair and sweat pants on, etc etc.
And he looked shocked and said, “I was about to tell you that you looked pretty!”
I laughed – he’s either madly in love or crazy. I was going to claim he didn’t have his glasses on, but they were on. . . I know, he’s a gem.
But, somehow he won me over and we went to the store together with me telling him everything and me feeling so much better. On the first isle I saw some happy yellow tulips and instantly pulled them into my arms, delightedly stroking the soft petals, with a new silly grin on my face.
He just smiled and watched me carry them around the whole store like they were my bridal bouquet. I was so happy.
He provided a safe place for all my insecurities, helping me let them out and choose more helpful thoughts.
You can allow yourself this privilege.
You can allow your kids this privilege.
A safe place. A non-judgmental listening ear. A big dose of empathy and lots of love.
Try to notice your emotions or your child’s emotions and don’t make them mean anything about you. Don’t try to change them or make them go away.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Give yourself space without judgement.
Allow your child to feel her emotions. Give her space without judgement.
I’m doing free sessions for missionaries and parents. Schedule a time for a FREE session. Have a quick question? Shoot me an email at info@jillfreestone.com. I’d love to hear from you.
