I feel sad right now.

I feel like crying.

It feels warm and heavy over my heart, pressing in a little, shallow breathing.

I’m paying attention to it.

I’m telling myself that if it’s going to stay around for awhile I can just be a person who is feeling sad and that’s ok. It’s interesting that as soon as I said that, my breathing slowed into a couple really deep breaths. That felt good.

It helps to take slow deep breaths.

I try it again, deep and slow.

Sadness is still there, so I keep feeling it.

I ask myself why  – I’m not sure – but I notice I feel stressed and a little stuck.

At dinner with family I start to explain some of the worries, stresses and sadness and tears start streaming down my cheeks. I realize there is some apathy because of the stress and that brings more sadness.

It hurts. Its heavy.

They comfort me. “Wow, you’re really feeling a lot today” “Mom, that’s a lot to deal with. How hard. I’m sorry.”

I keep sharing. I didn’t realize there was so much inside.

They had plans to go play frisbee golf as a family but they all ask what they can do to help me, making offers.

It’s nice to feel safe to share and be able to let it out and now make a plan to move forward.

Its ok to feel it all. Its all ok. It’s also good for me to show my feelings in front of my family, to show that I’m human too and this is how to feel feelings. They learn how to support someone feeling feelings and that its normal.

Now that I’m looking back I remember that I felt a flood of emotions earlier in the day and just kept going and didn’t let them all out because I was talking to people.

I remember the thought that wasn’t helpful, “maybe something’s wrong with me and I’m too emotional and can’t handle all this.”

The problem was that I believed it.

No wonder I ended up feeling so sad and apathetic later.

Now I’m seeing more clearly and can reframe that thought, “No, nothing’s wrong with me. Being emotional isn’t a problem and I’m just feeling a lot of emotions. I will be able to handle this even if it doesn’t feel like it right now”.

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